Tag: self care

Life

Feels like Sunday…Again: Birthday Season

Sirua

Long weekends can be fun. It can be another day of rest for many or getting paid extra to work. A day off from school. Or it just feels like Sunday again. This morning I wanted to sleep in a little longer. Enjoy the silence a little longer. The kids slept in a little which made me smile. The cats circling waiting for someone. Anyone to make a move so they can get their breakfast.

I spent the weekend studying and getting ahead of school work for this week. I usually never get to celebrate my birthday the day of. But I enjoy a quiet day with food and loved ones. I made it a tradition to do something for the month of or even during special days: anniversary, birthday and sometimes even Christmas. And usually it ends in a body modification. This year being a double helix piercing. I think I started this in about 2015 and from then on. I’ve kept it up every year.

  • 2015 dyed my hair pink and kept it pink til about 2018
  • 2016 I got my first tattoo
  • 2017 was more than I anticipated: another tattoo, nose piercing and shaving one side of my head for giggles. But I did love it.
  • 2018 had to cut the pink tips of my hair off. It was the year my son was born and I didn’t attempt a body mod due to breastfeeding. But it felt weird having non colored hair again
  • 2019 industrial piercing
  • 2020 tattoo
  • 2021 cut my own hair that was down my back all of to my above my shoulders
  • 2022 double helix piercing: pending more

It’s been interesting these past few years. I like having something to look forward to every year or special day that comes. I have plans for tattoos. Orbital piercings on both sides of my ear. My hair? Well not sure. I’ve always wanted to make it super short or dye it again. The hassle of long hair isn’t my thing anymore. Loved it. But I feel free.

A close friend has this thing that they call a birthday season. They enjoy their birthday and whole month of it. That joy and light in contrast to the way I tried not to think about my birthday for years. It was always cold and dark on my birthday. Winter birthdays are difficult to navigate when you live somewhere cold and snowy. I never made a big deal. Parties became obsolete. To put so much expectations on a single day made it upsetting and so dark.

Their way of celebrating and going out with people they care about and really just enjoying themselves and the new age. Chapter in their lives. Taking the time to reflect really opened me up. I didn’t want to hide my birthday. I’m already aging everyday as is. There’s no shame in it. So I do the body modifications. I make a date with my husband. Gather the people I’m close to up and ask if they would like to go out for dinner to celebrate not only me and but also the new year and what’s to come. Thank you my friend, for showing me this new side of not only birthdays but celebrating myself and my life with others.

Hobbies, Life, Tarot/Card Readings

Monday Weekly Tarot Pull: Anime NYC and Q&A

Sirua
Two of Wands

Two of Wands: Preparation, Movement, Structure

Interesting that I drew this card considering where my life is at the moment. This card signifies organization that I need and asks that I create an outline to takes steps for my next moves. This can apply anywhere. It asks I draw energy from my passion and apply it to my real world life this week. That’s exactly what I will do!

Life right now is neutral. There are days where I’m overwhelmed then I do my best to catch up. Whether it be personal or professionally. I am a little behind in my studies but I’m planning to get back on track with study groups and focusing on the tasks on hand. Wish me luck!

Anime NYC was definitely a lot of fun. I always recommend going to conventions with friends or meet new people as you go. The atmosphere is full of people with similar interests and excitement which is what I love about going to conventions. Seeing everyone dressed up and having fun. Being able to purchase merch and things you don’t normally see is both amazing and expensive! Haha. Clearly there needs to be some self control at play when going to these things. Overall loved it and hope to be back next year. I’m considering posting some pics on my IG. Since I hardly post on there.

Q: Why Tarot cards/Readings?

A: To be honest, because I was drawn to the idea at first. Now I’m realizing perhaps there’s more to it than just that. Tarot has brought me a sense of peace that keeps me grounded. By following my intuition and readings I get a real sense of myself. It gives me the self awareness I need to get through a lot of things in life that seem foggy. It’s led me to discover more about myself I didn’t know could be and thus my journey to self love has unfolded in many ways. Stay tuned for more.

Life, motherhood

Random Thoughts: Making Time

Sirua

As someone who’s constantly on the go. And I mean this in every sense. Whether it be physically or mentally. It’s hard to make time for yourself and perhaps others. This is your reminder to do so. Self love. Self care. And find balance in your life. Take a few minutes to breathe. Call someone who makes you happy or take a walk. Whatever it takes to bring you back from turmoil. Cry it out if you need to. Life can be hard. It’s okay to not be okay.

I have a lot of moments like this as a mother. Motherhood is a still something I struggle with emotionally every day. I love my babies. They’re my world. It’s easy to forget about myself in the heat of things. When they’re crying and need things. Once they’re in bed after a long and difficult day. The mom guilt comes in and there I am wishing I could of done better and wondering what I could of done better. But I try to remember that the best thing is to take care of myself. If I’m taking care of myself then I’m bringing that positivity into their lives as well. Even to those around me. Although it’s better said than done. Please try to make time for you.

Life, Tarot/Card Readings

Monday Weekly Tarot Pull: How Do I Prepare for a Reading?

Sirua
Ace of Coins

Welcome sweeties! Starting off for the week is the Ace of Coins meaning: New prosperity, Luck and Abundance. I’m being advise on my first step towards a new beginning. Recently I’ve felt the need to look into myself and figure out where I belong. I’m still soul searching and moving forward as my previous readings stated. So this card being called forward let’s me know I’m in the right direction. I am excited for what’s to come and I will keep y’all updated on my journey as I discover and gain more knowledge.

Q: How do you prepare for a reading?

The first time I received this question I hadn’t notice if I had a set ritual on how to start. Then I realized I actually do! Besides setting out the altar cloth, putting my crystals out and taking a deep breath. I have a bag of lavender given to me by someone from my husband’s residential job who told him “Give this to your wife to destress and stay calm. She can tuck it into her pillow for a good nights rest”. Very few people at his work knew about our grief and loss unless they asked my husband directly about me. So when he handed this bag of wonderfully smelling lavender while pregnant with our second earth side child. I took the scent in and it was lovely. I felt a surge of peace whenever I did this. Now right before every reading, I hold the lavender bag. I close my eyes and take in the scent until I’m at ease before beginning. Although prepping isn’t long this usually depends on the type of reading etc. But that’s for another day. Much love and stay sweet everyone. Hope you all have a happy Monday!

Life, motherhood

Weekend Burn Outs: One Day at a Time

Sirua

I do admit I’m learning to not be a procrastinator since it’s stressful as the weekends approach. Each week the same dance happens where college term comes and I’m handing things in late and continue to put things in the back burner. Only to stress and rush to focus for hours til I’m burned out and on my wits end. During the week I work part time and have my boys. I worry about every little thing. What to cook, what to clean, where to start, doing the tasks asked of me along with much more. Lately I find myself stopping to take a breath. Worrying about the amount of stress I endure and experience.

Will this be forever? Maybe. But I want to find a way to endure while also finding peace. I’ve learned to take naps when I can. Attempt one to two tasks a day and keep a rhythm. This has so far been helpful. The stress although fairly high doesn’t not put me in a state of shutting down and full on panic anymore. I’ve questioned my mental health and slowly have returned to having moments of self care. These moments I get to love myself and be selfish for 5 minutes. The burn out lasts so long. Monday comes again with the linger of anxiety for the week. Relief of being able to accomplish some tasks. Grateful to have made it through a weekend.

I’m learning.

One day at a time. I’ll make it through. Motherhood isn’t easy but it’s special in its own way. A journey of never ending wonder and surprises. Always learning and permanently tired.

Life

Juggling Time and Hobbies: Personal Struggles

Sirua

There’s simply not enough time in a day for everything. I’ve always cycled hobbies and things I learn or want to learn. Once I find something I like. I research and try my best to find out everything about it before diving in. Even when I do, there’s a chance I’ll lose interest. Whether it be lack of time or the way my brain is wired (more on this later). Hobbies or at least some can be cycled whether it be by seasons, mood, or life style changes. After becoming a mother, this is exceptionally true. I didn’t lose interest but I had less time. Work? School? Well things get complicated.

I’ll be honest. For some things my time management is on point. Especially if it has nothing to do with myself (Ha!). I do tend to procrastinate when it comes to myself personally, it’s a struggle. Constant cycle of when should I do this? When should I do that? I have an appointment tomorrow? Since when?

I’ve officially become that person. The calendar person. Where I use google calendar to input my work meetings, family related events, doctor appointments or reminders. Without them I would be a complete mess of a person. Causing more stress than I already have. I try my best to squeeze in hobbies that make me happy. Watching anime, playing video games with friends, reading, writing, and even blogging. I wish I could be more active on this. Time escapes so easily when you’re busy.

Hobbies are a form of self love and a way to de stress. But it can also take away from priorities which makes it such a struggle to balance. One day this won’t be so overwhelming for me. That’s what I keep telling myself. That life is an ocean, do we prepare for a storm or will it be a wonderful day? It’s unpredictable.

One day it’ll get better. Just maybe not tomorrow?

Life

Celebrating Life Accomplishments

Sirua

Life is constantly moving. It’s always changing and you start to wonder how different things are every time you dwell in the past. As someone who overthinks things and puts herself down. I want to take a moment to celebrate some life accomplishments/updates that I feel proud or happy about:

•Got my license •First car purchase •GPA went up •Induced into The National Society of Leadership and Success •Keeping appointments both for physical and mental health upkeep •6 months breastfeeding •Managed to not gain more than 3 pounds •Became an aunt to an adorable little boy •Continuing my school education regardless of the obstacles I face •Practicing tarot card reading

Some of this was not easy. Sometimes even the strongest can fall but it’s important to get back up again. I strive for something when I think of my future and my family. But I always try to remind myself to slow down and be happy. To thank my loved ones for their support. At times this is scary. As a mother and a wife, there’s so much to worry about that it’s easy to forget about myself in many ways. Self care, eating healthy, finding time for things I love, while also continuing what I set out to do. Most of all achieving happiness and finding joy in all the small things.

I hope to continue these updates and blogs. I might just post random things. I want to post about anime, cars, school and motherhood struggles. Or whatever I feel like in the moment. But I’ll stick to whatever works.

What makes you happy? Comment below. Follow me on my social links below and stay sweet everyone.

Life

Breaks and Still Broken

Sirua

It’s hard trying to be better for yourself. To create these habits to build yourself up. Tell that voice in your heard to stop being so negative and breathe a moment. I’m still on a journey. A journey where I find myself wondering where life will go and trying to experience things as they come to me.

These frequent breaks are necessary but doesn’t mean I come back bigger or better. I try to be stronger and sometimes it’s difficult doing it. But I strive for a better tomorrow. Cherish the day and keep pushing more than yesterday. I hope I want to be kinder to myself moving forward.

If you’re reading this take it as a sign. Be kinder to yourself too. I’ll update more soon sweeties. Much love.

Life, Shedding my Weight, weight loss

Weight Plateau, Process And New Changes

Sirua

I’ve hit a weight plateau where I haven’t lost weight and don’t gain much either. At first I was afraid for my milk supply. Even with all the supplements I was taking I wasn’t sure if it would be enough but I am going to chance it til I see there’s an issue.

I started on this wellness journey with an oversupply of milk. was proud but also felt as though it was draining so much out of me I did not know what to do. I was eating about 2,300 calories and still lost 1-2 lbs a week for about a month. It wasn’t until the milk supply lowered that I could lower my intake to 2,100. The weight loss still slow but manageable. I eventually reached my goal weight and plateaued. I didn’t mind since it was difficult as a mother of two, working from home and doing school online. Most days I am exhausted and only wish to curl up to my husband to watch anime as the kids sleep. I have days where I wish my brain could take a moment and breathe. It’s been difficult to find that peace and center ground. But, I did find it again.

I am now taking 1,850 calories to start. I would say 50 percent of my diet is protein shakes and dinner/snacks have been my main solid foods. I am slowly changing what dinner looks like and still reducing portions for now. I take my supplements to make sure I continue to have a milk supply for my son , keep myself hydrated and fed. Next week I would like to start a strength training regimen since I made 12 weeks postpartum. It’s important that the body heals and teach yourself patience in this process. Love yourself and the body you’re in. Find the will to keep going cause there will be days you give in and want that fast food that you know you shouldn’t have right now. But, you keep going and repeat the process again. You can do this!

Next time I will talk about what I am eating and if its working since all this is all recent. There’s still room to tweak or improve. I am no expert and also want to get blood drawn in my next physical to make sure my body is tolerating the way it should. Everyone’s journey is not the same but inspirations sparks from places we least expect it to. It does help that when I start to feel like my world is heavy. My husband brings me my favorite: Salmon sushi.

Hope everyone is staying safe and as always: Stay Sweet

Life, Shedding my Weight, weight loss

First Weight Goal Achievement and Wellness Update

Sirua

I achieved my first goal weight this week. I honestly can say that I haven’t seen this number on the scale since before 2016. I am feeling proud and more determined now. I cant say its been easy as I continue this journey. I am far from my true goal. Lately, it feels like I’m far from so many goals but every moment I am getting closer and that’s been my comfort in all this. That eventually I will reach my true goal and that I can continue to share with everyone my emotions, my struggles, and my progress.

Emotionally, I have been better I would say consideringI am now 11 weeks postpartum. It’s hard to believe how quick and well my recovery was this time around. It’s truly shocking how much mental health contributes to overall wellness. I recently started my period again and I haven’t mentioned this but before my period I tend to have PMS symptoms leading up to the day of. These can vary from minor to moderate. It’s a terrible cycle when I feel emotional over everything and can breakdown all the good I worked for the last few weeks in a moment because of a hormonal cycle and perhaps a bad day. I am hoping with my life style changes these symptoms improve as time goes on. I am tracking my cycles. Although, I do plan on getting an IUD soon. This will be my first time using birth control. I am a bit nervous about this but I need the comfort of knowing I am doing everything I can to prevent another pregnancy til further notice. I will discuss how I feel on it and anything else I can report about it.

My struggles have been high and low. I do have days where I wish I didn’t crave certain things but honestly my true cravings have been Milky Mama Lactation Brownies, Salmon (sushi or baked), and Chofan rice from our favorite restaurant with different meats we order. We try not to order out since that can throw off any progress so I limit the amount I eat and snack on something else later on to prevent me from going on a carb binge. The brownies are to help with my breastfeeding since I need the extra calories to help with production. Truly without the brownies I would be in a deficit in calories and I try to limit everything else throughout the day since sugar and carb content in them is high. These will soon be replaced by a fat burning protein once the baby is older and caffeine isn’t an issue for his belly. As a meal replacement it would be great as something to make and have quickly without feeling guilty especially in the morning where I struggle to fully wake up and eat something.

Progress so far has been going well. I will say that its been somewhere between 1-2 pounds a week for now. I feel this is my comfort level right now since I know my eating habits aren’t entirely perfect in terms of using a macro system and limiting carbs as a keto diet would. The reason being is breastfeeding. The supposed amount a mother burns while breastfeeding is 200-500 a day estimate. This can depend on how much milk is being produced. To counter this I eat healthier snacks like cheese, nuts, and fruits so I can enjoy my lactation brownie and cold cup of 1 percent milk later on. For the most part I tend to choose low carb, high protein meals and do my best to avoid take out if possible. Ive also adjusted my portions and that’s helped significantly. This is all slow progress since all of this began since before May-June 2020. Since the pregnancy threw me into a spin and i did my best to eat healthy through it as well.

I was also wondering whether I should share my progress on Tik Tok since I only just began posting on there for my Twitch stream and cutesy stuff I tend to order once in a while. Once I do I will probably share it more on my social platforms since instagram and twitter are my other platforms to share. If I decide to I will definitely share it on here and everywhere else. I’ll start putting my social links below to follow and chat. Thank you for reading!

If you’re interested in purchasing Milky Mama Lactation Brownies you can use my Referral Link for a 5 dollar off coupon. They also have cookies, supplements and drinks you can try! Always feel free to let me know if you try it and what you think.

Feel free to follow and chat with me using the above social links!