Tag: beautiful

Life

Love Ebbs and Flows

Sirua

As some may know I’m married and have been for officially now for 7 years as of this month and 11 years together as of this month as well. Our anniversaries fall a day apart. many do ask how we’ve managed to stay married and mostly calm through our whole relationship. Of course, love doesn’t come without it’s hiccups or doubts. It’s defined differently across the spectrum.

Honestly my husband is my best friend. My fears, doubts, laughter, joy, jokes and simply how my day are shared with him. He supports my shenanigans and keeps me grounded. We have grown and managed to survive the obstacles. We appreciate each other and learned each others love language. We continue to learn everyday. Learning from our past, living in our present and planning our future. We want the best for each other, our children and our overall well-being. He makes me feel beautiful, sexy and wanted. He’s a simple man and an amazing father.

To celebrate our years together. I drew two cards. One was the expectations of our marriage and two what to watch out for.

Nine of Cups & Five of Wands

Nine of cups represents pleasure, contentment, and success and Five of Wands is competition and conflict. Neither cards surprised me as we are celebrating and grateful for each other. And what to watch for; I already have my eyes peeled for what’s to come.

I hope to have many years more alongside my other half and for our love to continue its path of peace, passion, and understanding. For love is similar to the ocean, it ebbs and it flows. It’s not always calm and peaceful but we ride the storms hoping to survive.

Tarot/Card Readings

Late Night Read: Balancing Life

Sirua

I use to be a night owl. Now there’s times I can’t wait to be in bed. Kindle in hand or laptop for studying. Usually the kids are asleep and that’s when I can take a deep breath and focus.

Tonight I am exhausted and have assignments to catch up on. Procrastination at its finest. I’m still missing 2 research question assignments, 2 project submission and reply to discussion board before the end of Sunday. I must work well under pressure considering I seem to always do this. But after my week off I hope to get myself on track and be ahead rather than behind.

Tonight I drew two cards based on the feeling I always get.

Ruler of Cups & Two of Coins

These cards compliment each other as they speak to balance within myself and around me. Ruler of cups focuses on the balance in heart and mind. To keep my head above any drama and move forward. While the Two of coins speaks to balancing my life. It asks if I’m attracted to being busy (YES) and how I should delegate the tasks and not put so much on myself. It’s asking me to move forward with a better way of balancing this lifestyle so I can have a more positive outcome which I mentioned above with school.

After this week off, I hope to have an easier time with myself and start to write again. I am writing a horror/sexual story. But I’m unsure if it’s okay to post it. I do believe I have my blog set to be a mature content poster. But it’s hard to know at the moment. Hopefully I can figure it out. Or I’ll post the scene/story and hope to not get flagged.

Looking for a reading or one card pull? Feel free to contact me below on my socials to inquire.

Life

Feels like Sunday…Again: Birthday Season

Sirua

Long weekends can be fun. It can be another day of rest for many or getting paid extra to work. A day off from school. Or it just feels like Sunday again. This morning I wanted to sleep in a little longer. Enjoy the silence a little longer. The kids slept in a little which made me smile. The cats circling waiting for someone. Anyone to make a move so they can get their breakfast.

I spent the weekend studying and getting ahead of school work for this week. I usually never get to celebrate my birthday the day of. But I enjoy a quiet day with food and loved ones. I made it a tradition to do something for the month of or even during special days: anniversary, birthday and sometimes even Christmas. And usually it ends in a body modification. This year being a double helix piercing. I think I started this in about 2015 and from then on. I’ve kept it up every year.

  • 2015 dyed my hair pink and kept it pink til about 2018
  • 2016 I got my first tattoo
  • 2017 was more than I anticipated: another tattoo, nose piercing and shaving one side of my head for giggles. But I did love it.
  • 2018 had to cut the pink tips of my hair off. It was the year my son was born and I didn’t attempt a body mod due to breastfeeding. But it felt weird having non colored hair again
  • 2019 industrial piercing
  • 2020 tattoo
  • 2021 cut my own hair that was down my back all of to my above my shoulders
  • 2022 double helix piercing: pending more

It’s been interesting these past few years. I like having something to look forward to every year or special day that comes. I have plans for tattoos. Orbital piercings on both sides of my ear. My hair? Well not sure. I’ve always wanted to make it super short or dye it again. The hassle of long hair isn’t my thing anymore. Loved it. But I feel free.

A close friend has this thing that they call a birthday season. They enjoy their birthday and whole month of it. That joy and light in contrast to the way I tried not to think about my birthday for years. It was always cold and dark on my birthday. Winter birthdays are difficult to navigate when you live somewhere cold and snowy. I never made a big deal. Parties became obsolete. To put so much expectations on a single day made it upsetting and so dark.

Their way of celebrating and going out with people they care about and really just enjoying themselves and the new age. Chapter in their lives. Taking the time to reflect really opened me up. I didn’t want to hide my birthday. I’m already aging everyday as is. There’s no shame in it. So I do the body modifications. I make a date with my husband. Gather the people I’m close to up and ask if they would like to go out for dinner to celebrate not only me and but also the new year and what’s to come. Thank you my friend, for showing me this new side of not only birthdays but celebrating myself and my life with others.

Hobbies, Life

Where Does Time Go?

Sirua

We are already in the middle of the month!? How crazy is that. Between school starting again and trying to get organize. Things got hectic for a bit and I didn’t blog. But I’m still here and will post here and there to make up for the past couple of weeks. I still due my tarot draws for the week. And interestingly enough yesterday it was 2 cards that came forth rathe than the usual one. Stay tuned for that.

I’m also going to provide an ownership update with Baymax (our Tesla Model Y) and talk about ownership living in NYC, the pros and cons so far, and eventually the accessories I bought. The whole thing.

Updates and overall well being updated coming soon as well. Dream posts. And finish the dream story I started in order to begin another dream story I’ve been wanting to write for a while now. I’ll try to stay more on top of blogging. But, priorities will always come first. Thank you and stay sweet everyone.

Hobbies, Life, Tarot/Card Readings

Monday Weekly Tarot Pull: Anime NYC and Q&A

Sirua
Two of Wands

Two of Wands: Preparation, Movement, Structure

Interesting that I drew this card considering where my life is at the moment. This card signifies organization that I need and asks that I create an outline to takes steps for my next moves. This can apply anywhere. It asks I draw energy from my passion and apply it to my real world life this week. That’s exactly what I will do!

Life right now is neutral. There are days where I’m overwhelmed then I do my best to catch up. Whether it be personal or professionally. I am a little behind in my studies but I’m planning to get back on track with study groups and focusing on the tasks on hand. Wish me luck!

Anime NYC was definitely a lot of fun. I always recommend going to conventions with friends or meet new people as you go. The atmosphere is full of people with similar interests and excitement which is what I love about going to conventions. Seeing everyone dressed up and having fun. Being able to purchase merch and things you don’t normally see is both amazing and expensive! Haha. Clearly there needs to be some self control at play when going to these things. Overall loved it and hope to be back next year. I’m considering posting some pics on my IG. Since I hardly post on there.

Q: Why Tarot cards/Readings?

A: To be honest, because I was drawn to the idea at first. Now I’m realizing perhaps there’s more to it than just that. Tarot has brought me a sense of peace that keeps me grounded. By following my intuition and readings I get a real sense of myself. It gives me the self awareness I need to get through a lot of things in life that seem foggy. It’s led me to discover more about myself I didn’t know could be and thus my journey to self love has unfolded in many ways. Stay tuned for more.

Life, Tarot/Card Readings

Monday Weekly Tarot Pull: How Do I Prepare for a Reading?

Sirua
Ace of Coins

Welcome sweeties! Starting off for the week is the Ace of Coins meaning: New prosperity, Luck and Abundance. I’m being advise on my first step towards a new beginning. Recently I’ve felt the need to look into myself and figure out where I belong. I’m still soul searching and moving forward as my previous readings stated. So this card being called forward let’s me know I’m in the right direction. I am excited for what’s to come and I will keep y’all updated on my journey as I discover and gain more knowledge.

Q: How do you prepare for a reading?

The first time I received this question I hadn’t notice if I had a set ritual on how to start. Then I realized I actually do! Besides setting out the altar cloth, putting my crystals out and taking a deep breath. I have a bag of lavender given to me by someone from my husband’s residential job who told him “Give this to your wife to destress and stay calm. She can tuck it into her pillow for a good nights rest”. Very few people at his work knew about our grief and loss unless they asked my husband directly about me. So when he handed this bag of wonderfully smelling lavender while pregnant with our second earth side child. I took the scent in and it was lovely. I felt a surge of peace whenever I did this. Now right before every reading, I hold the lavender bag. I close my eyes and take in the scent until I’m at ease before beginning. Although prepping isn’t long this usually depends on the type of reading etc. But that’s for another day. Much love and stay sweet everyone. Hope you all have a happy Monday!

Life, Tarot/Card Readings

Tarot Reading: Monday Monthly Self Read

Sirua

For the first day of the month I decided to do a monthly ready to get an overall picture of my energy and life. I live with this self doubt I can never shake off. Ever since I started doing reading. I feel the energy come back and the will to push toward comes back quickly. I’m constantly reminding myself that I’m enough and can do this. I hope everyone reading this knows they’re enough and never let anything feel like you’re a failure. We learn from those and push forward. Without further ado here’s the tarot spread I use and the reading that came forth.

Tarot Spread Used

There’s a lot to take in here. The cards drawn were: Nine of Wands, Five of Wands, Nine of Cups, The Lovers, Seeker of Cups, Sovereign of Swords, Ace of Wands, The Hierophant.

There is a lot going on here and it’s nothing new for me personally.

Overall Theme: Nine of Wands is a card that’s been attracted to me lately. The deck no matter how many times I shuffle and mix it. This card makes its appearance as reminder of the things I’ve endured. I don’t think I’ve endured much but this reminds me that I have and of my resilience which is the theme for this reading.

What are we leaving behind?: Five of Wands comes through meaning frustration and conflict. After the last few years I’ve had. I believe this card is perfect.

What are we continuing?: with the nine of cups it signals the continuation of gratitude and celebration. Attracting joyous energy and the celebrate the good that’s happened and being grateful of what’s to come.

What is Entering our Life?: The Lovers is a card with a lot of positivity. As a mother of two and married. The bliss that I feel with my partner is amazing right now. Of course we have our highs and we have our lows. But things have been harmonious and beautiful. And if this card is showing that. Bless the spirits for letting it continue.

What is to Come?

Career: Seeker of Cups is interesting since it’s a creative card that asks me to seek and ask questions. To be curious, intuitive and inspired. Funny enough it was brought to my attention to have more tasks and responsibilities at work. I’m going to be trained for a different skill set in order to be of more help. This will eventually and hopefully create a place where I can progress and grow. To put my mind to something and utilize this energy to do my job efficiently.

Relationships: I take this as a general overview of my relationships anywhere and again with the Sovereign of Swords. It’s rather spot on. Most of the people I keep close are people who I can be truthful with and provided advice for in the past. I enjoy being a source of wisdom and being a reliable person to share my intellect with others.

Overall Advice: The Hierophant brings along tradition and values. I’m going to guess this means to absorb what I’m being taught. To retain the knowledge and guidance being given to me at the moment.

Phew! What a reading. Even though it’s for myself. I find myself so intrigued every single time. I will go back to one or two draws and continue to do this weekly. If anyone is looking for a reading. Please feel free to reach out. Much love and stay sweet.

Hobbies, Life, Product Review

Tarot Readings: Beginning my Awakening

Sirua

I recently got into tarot reading one day. Not sure exactly, you know those Facebook Ads that creepily come up and you tell yourself “yeah they’re listening.” It was probably one of those. I came across an ad for Threads of Fate. I fell in love with their card designs, the aesthetics, and their belief of finding our own individuality as spiritual people. Then there I was purchasing not one but two of their decks. No regrets. I highly recommend their decks with how gorgeous they are. I feel connected with my decks and it’s funny cause when I did introduce myself to my decks they sassed me. How could they!?

First of all, the decks are gorgeous. I was able to get their Tarot Journeyer and Oracle Lumen. Still debating the rose edition for collector’s sake. I’ve mostly used them to read myself or any residual energy from my dreams. The accuracy has been unreal and yet comforting to say the least. I was happy to be able to do a reading for a friend who had passed and was able to do a spirit guide spread and it was accurate for them too. It was emotional and exciting all at once.

The excitement I feel when reading buzzes throughout my whole being. I feel a tug in my soul and this vibration that relaxes me. Although I am completely new to this and not sure what any of this supposed to be like. I hope to be able to read for others one day. But for now, I’ll keep the cards close and personal until I’m ready. I have uploaded my somewhat set up so far on my tik tok. Doesn’t do the deck’s beauty any justice. Enjoy!

Have you been to a tarot reading before? How was it? Did you feel anything? Comment below your experience. Stay sweet lovelies.

Life, motherhood

Exclusively Pumping: Breastfeeding Journey Glimpse

Sirua

To be honest, things have been hectic. Between little sleep and slowly trying to get back on schedule and keeping a routine with a toddler while feeding a newborn on demand. It’s…well demanding. Along with a part time job at home, school online, my son’s therapy (that’s another blog for another day) I think some days I reach peak of mental exhaustion. I’v been lucky to have my husband for five weeks to help me through this time cause it is not easy getting back to whatever we consider reality at this point.

All things considered I am okay. This time around I know more than I did the first time around with my son. I was new to breastfeeding and pumping. I was new to the experience of motherhood and everything it physically entailed. This time around I am a little less nervous and knew what I wanted which was to pump as much as I could for this baby.

The first time around I remember doing so much research and stressing about my output. I was only making about 20 ounces per day after two to three weeks and it wasn’t enough. I was able to supplement at night with formula but my goal was to strictly breastfeed. Eventually, by an increase of water intake, adding more pumps in my day, lactation supplements and lactation treats was I able to start reaching 30-35 oz a day. I was able to purchase a stand up freezer and store a lot of breast milk for when anytime my supply started to drop towards the end of my journey or started using breast milk in the solids I would give my son. I was proud of the hard work I put into it and couldn’t be happier that I had reached my goal of a year breast feeding. I was relieved once it ended. My mind at peace.

Now here I am once again. I struggle with the thought of doing this all over again for another now…49 weeks or longer depending. This time around I have a oversupply when I prepped for under supply in the beginning. I am proud and yet stressed to say I am at 50-60 oz per day! This time around I did maintain a good water intake, coconut eater from a company I found, lactation brownies, prenatals and pumping at least 6 times a day (its advised to do more like 8-12 so please don’t try this if you’re experiencing an under supply). This all isn’t easy since breast feeding and exclusively pumping has its pros and cons. Every situation is unique and I have my own personal struggles to overcome when it comes to pumping from the wash and sterilizing of bottles and pump part to planning each pump to make sure the kids are comfortable and in a safe place while I sit for 20-30 minutes.

To put this into perspective that’s 20-30 minutes for every pump and at the recommended 8-12 times a day for the first 6 weeks to establish supply. Pumping can actually be a full time job cause this doesn’t include the constant washing of parts and bottles. While taking care of a new baby and everything else of course. This is a glimpse of the struggle but I am proud of myself and those who keep their littles fed. Fed is best and even those who give their little ones formula its still its own struggle to afford formula in the first place. Whether you’re new to this journey or returning. Welcome (Welcome back) you’re not alone!

Life, motherhood

Growing from One to Two Earthside

Sirua

It’s difficult when you’ve experienced loss of pregnancy. Every pregnancy after you’re stuck in a limbo of what ifs and worry for any news that’ll shake your wold. Every appointment you wonder if the doctors will tell you something a parent never wants to hear. It takes away some but not all of those little joys of being pregnant. The excitement of an ultrasound replaced by anxiety right before. It feels like you’re holding your breath and waiting until they’re in your arms. Even after a successful pregnancy. I still had those nerves being pregnant a fourth time.

Time went by quicker this time. I almost didn’t want the day to come from how unready I felt. Then I remembered that nothing prepares you 100 percent for motherhood. Whether it be the first time you’re becoming a mother or anytime after that. A toddler and a newborn? It was going to be surreal.

Now, that we have our second earth-side son here. I forget how small newborns are. How cuddly they can be all curled up in your chest and you don’t want to move cause you want the moment to last forever. To be their safe place a little while longer before they cry for a feeding or a change. I wasn’t sure how I would feel after having our first earth-side son for over 2 years. I was worried that I would feel too overwhelmed and have mixed emotions. It’s amazing what emotions will do. I honestly felt myself grow. Your heart and soul expands. It’s as if the world around you becomes bigger with love to welcome another child into your life. The pieces fall into place and soon it’s almost as if they were meant to be.

As of now I’m 2 weeks postpartum and to be honest this time around feels a bit easier with the jitters. I know as the weeks go by there will be easy days as there will be difficult days. Especially, once my husband returns to work from family leave. For now I want to soak up these moments while I heal. I’ll share my labor story and raw postpartum with time. I still have days where it feels surreal that I have two kids with me now. Somehow it feels so right and almost impossible based on what we went through. But, I think it was meant to be.