Tag: self love

Life, Shedding my Weight, weight loss

Implementing Walking as a Workout: Second Wellness Entry

Sirua

Now that I started this journey it seems as though I am motivated more than ever. I want to prove I can do this and can build good habits as time goes on. Now that my eating is more or less established I wanted to add exercise to my routine. My schedule is hectic if it can be called a a schedule at this point but I figured I could free up 30 minutes to an hour to go walking while my newborn naps.

MapMyWalk has been my best friend at this point. I messaged some friends in hopes to motivate each other into walking along with me. Seeing their efforts and messages have been a huge help in this process. Cause I have days where I am exhausted. But, I need to push through this and do whats best for myself. Setting these goals and meeting them is truly important for me since it has to do with my health and I see that as an investment towards a brighter future.

I feel it. The nagging soreness that doesn’t leave unless you rest for two days and the heaviness of lifting my legs in the middle of the night or morning. Do I have regrets? Perhaps. But who doesn’t? I ask myself will it hurt more later or how much further can I push myself? I can probably make 2 miles into 3 and so on. Goal right now? Eventually get to 4 miles by June without pain. I am confident thats a great goal for me to look forward to. Either that or be jogging by June. That one is a higher up goal that I’m hesitant about since I am not a fan of the warmer months or jogging. However, I believe in myself and in my circle to continue motivating me with this. So if you’re in the beginning of your wellness journey. Welcome! Join along this beautiful struggle with me. If you’re further and have experience in this. Welcome! Send advice and help please.

I’ll continue to update periodically. I miss streaming video games, playing video games, I also have plans to update little blogs here and there about some unboxing and purchases I made. Some reviews on shows or movies I watched. I’m mostly into Asian drama, animes and some crime/doctor shows (Not Grey’s Anatomy since I haven’t even started there). Stay tuned and stay sweet everyone!

Life

Opening about D-MER: Not Every Breastfeeding Journey is a Happy One

Sirua

What’s D-MER you ask? Not a lot of people know of it or talk about it. To be honest I hadn’t heard of it either until I had my 2018 baby. For those that don’t know D-MER is Dysphoria Milk Ejection Reflex (let down).

What it does is once breast milk starts to “let down” these feelings begin to stir that are negative. There’s so many ways I could describe it but on most days I feel as though theirs this emptiness in my stomach and a knot in my throat. I dread this feeling every time I pump since so many thoughts arise from it. Back in 2018, I thought I was going through Postpartum depression but odd enough I would only feel this when pumping. Outside of pumping I was mostly okay and felt tired. I was relieved to not be pumping until I had to pump again a few hours later. The cycle was endless and the anxiety would built up the first few minutes of pumping and slowly dissolved towards the end. The relief after was like a breath of fresh air.

I will admit, I have experienced panic attacks in my life and I can say that D-MER can feel similar to the build up of a panic attack. It messes with your mental health. It can make you feel alone and hopeless in that moment. Especially such a vulnerable moment such as breastfeeding or pumping. I was a healing mother with emotional and physical wounds, a newborn baby that needed me and navigating unknown territory. I felt as though I was trapped in my own emotions and no way of getting out. I felt as if I would snap from the pressure of perfect expectations I formed for myself as a mother and wife. There were times I wanted to scream and cry for everything and everyone to leave me alone. To the point I would silence my phone and found myself breathing through it without being aware of what I was going through. One day, I had enough and began to research. I came across this article about D-MER- It all began to make sense. I cried and never felt so relieved that there was a name for what was happening to me.

I hope that if anyone runs across this blog wondering about D-MER or if you’re learning about this for the first time out of curiosity. Well, welcome to my world. If you’re experiencing D-MER as a mother breastfeeding just know you’re not alone and there is hope yet. The symptoms lessen as time carries on, however, if you’re experiencing thoughts of self-harm and feel that your mental health is suffering. Please do what is best for you and your baby. Fed is always best and a happy momma is a happy baby.

Life

Loving Myself

Sirua

Some days are harder than others. My walls sometimes come down and I’m left vulnerable. I don’t even realize it sometimes until something happens. If someone talks to me a different way. When my son seems to only want to be with everyone else except me. If my husband is having a bad day. When someone at work gives a sharp tongue without meaning to. I feel it. They’re like paper cuts in my soul that sting throughout the day. I sense all the positivity and confidence leave me. It’s crazy how all the good takes so long to fill. Yet, it’s so quick to leave all the same. I’ve learned lately to build walls but to always leave a hole open. Others may see this as a weakness. But I see it as opportunity.

I know I will be hurt.

I know I’ll have low and high days.

I know my confidence will drain.

But I’ll take it easy. I’ll be kind to myself cause I’m not perfect. No one is. I’ll love myself even if in the moment I don’t feel loved. Self love is a beautiful thing. It’s not selfish. It’s hard to do everyday. But if I love myself a little more. I’ll be okay. Not always but one day.

Thanks for reading everyone and for those who like my posts. Thank you for doing so. I’m trying to be more active on here. For now enjoy a pic of my sleeping cat on the computer chair that my husband and him fight over every time. It’s almost a daily affair that makes us all laugh. Sometimes I wish I had his life for a day. His face is so peaceful.

Life, Succulent/Plants

Why Succulents?

Sirua

Sometimes it’s weird how we discover hobbies that we never thought we would be into. At first, I started off with a small terrarium plant. I realized it wasn’t happy at all in it and I researched how to take care of these new succulents of mine. One thing led to another and suddenly I was finding beautiful succulents all over online. Purchased some and I never turned back since then. It was therapeutic to wake up and go through my morning routine. Let my son unwind a bit and check on these beauties from time to time. I eventually started purchasing more and joined some Facebook groups to share the love about succulents. It’s amazing who you meet and talk to. Sharing tips and advice when needed. Sharing photos of the different types there are. I’ve met some amazing people through all this and I couldn’t be happier tending to my plants. I get to admire their beauty. Watch them grow and change in color from time to time. Recently I’ve been into pinks and peach colors lately. Sometimes purples, greens and blues (reminds me of mermaids). It’s nice to be kept busy. It’s weird to think I was/still a gamer. I use to play a lot before my son. I miss it sometimes but it’s nice to find something new and exciting to do. I have low and high days emotionally and get easily overwhelmed by things at times so having a hobby does help deal with a lot of the anxiety, stress and depression I tend to deal with. Although it’s not a cure. It’s something to help through those tough days. The days where I feel like I’m not enough as a mother or wife. Those days where I feel like my grief is lingering longer than usual. So why succulents? Well, cause they make me happy and appreciate the beauty of nature. Sharing that love with other people. You start to find yourself again. A little help sometimes goes a long way.

Thanks for reading if you reached this far. It’s hard to put into words how one hobby and a bunch of plants can help. It’s the strangest thing. Anyone else have a hobby they love? Comment below and share your passion.

Grief, Life

Pets are more than just Animals

Sirua

It’s odd how these little creatures leave the biggest impressions in our hearts. They can only live for so long and it’s heartbreaking to even think when they come to you at any point of your life or their lives. That one day they’ll leave you.

I used to be a dog person. Least I thought I was. I love them yet I wouldn’t want to have one since it doesn’t fit our lifestyle personally. I ended up with three cats somehow (I like to pretend they showed up here one day lol) and never looked back. Everyday they bring some kind of laughter and comfort to all of us while also being a pain. We wouldn’t have it any other way.

They’ve grounded me more than I can express words. My third cat I got after losing my daughter. The first two comforted me through some tough times. Simple things like being frustrated at work to sad days. But, nothing like trauma and grief. I’ve never seen them so anxious and smothering. Cats aren’t known to be as affectionate as dogs. Including my own. They enjoy our company but don’t find us holding them for a long period of time pleasant at all. It was the next morning after my loss that I woke up and there it was. That feeling of never wanting to get out of bed to fave the world ever again. A silence so deafening I could scream so I turned around to try and sleep to find my two fluff balls on the bed with me. Normally, they don’t get along or would of meowed for more food or at least looked up at me. Instead they decided to come closer to curl up near my body, their ears perked up as the tears came, the silence broken with the sobs. The sobs of a heartbroken soul. They pitted silently and I fell asleep. This happened for about a week straight. My husband would have to take them off the bed or wake them up to lay in bed with me. I found it sweet that they didn’t leave my side in the morning. It’s as if they were grieving with me…

I’m sure there’s so many stories like this one. Where these beautiful creatures help their humans more than they could ever comprehend. Most say “They’re just animals. They don’t know.” I beg to differ as I sit here with my son and mostly surrounded by at least one of them. Keeping an eye out always. Pets aren’t always just animals to people. They’re family.

Thank you for reading! Would love if anyone shared their stories related to their pets and the joy they bring you! Much love everyone. Till the next blog.

Life, Shedding my Weight, weight loss

Weight loss and Hormones

Sirua

Getting on that scale every Friday is intimidating. I look forward to it to see what’s working and what’s not. I don’t because I’m afraid to fail. As a woman of course every month I go through a week of having my menstrual (yes, my period) and the cravings used to be for Oreos. Not that I would deny having an Oreo milkshake even now. However, it’s usually much less likely for me to deny any while dealing cramps.

Luckily, I’ve been able to curb the cravings so far. I don’t deny myself the sweets. I only taste and move on for the most part. Besides, the protein shakes and afternoon walks really do curb the cravings as much as it can. I’m proud to say that although before my vacation I lost 3 pounds and gained 4. I was able to lost 7 lbs since coming back September 12. It’s been a month and 7 lbs is progress. Although I’m sure I can lose more. I’ll continue to do so. I’ll take as much as I can get at this point. Even if it’s 1lb a week. I’ll share more as I go. For now it’s only protein in the morning. Less carbs. More water. Combined with intermittent fasting. Hopefully I’ll continue losing every week!

Life, Shedding my Weight, weight loss

Weight Loss Update

Sirua

As most of you know from my previous blog. I started my weight loss journey to hopefully reach my goal slowly. Going on vacation I did my best to limit myself (not have seconds of any foods. Tasting dessert rather than finishing them. Limiting carbs as much as I could) overall I only gained 2 pounds which isn’t bad! Thought it would be more like 5 pounds. It’s been 2 weeks and I’m already down the 2 pounds that I gained. I need to buy more fat burner protein. Go back to limiting my carb intake more. Going out for more walks at least 4 times a week. Currently it’s about 3-4 but they’re usually short or too long that I lose the nerve to go the next day. I really hope in 6 months to reach my small goal of losing about 15 pounds. Wish me luck cause it’s more difficult than I planned it would be.

Life, Shedding my Weight, weight loss

The Little Things in Weight Loss

Sirua

It’s easy to want to see fast results when you’re on a journey to weight loss. That’s why small goals matter. Ones that are easy to reach. Celebrate them accordingly and it’ll help your mindset, motivation and confidence.

Last month I purchased distressed Bermuda shorts in the size I usually buy and felt as if they were tighter than usual. I felt defeated and upset since they were so cute. I put them with the pile of “Jeans that might fit later” which is right next to “Pants that will probably never fit me again”. Sad, but true. I decided to try them on today with not much hope since I didn’t feel all that different. It’s been almost 2 weeks since I became serious about my journey and BOOM! They fit like a glove. I even did the squat test and they didn’t feel like they were going to rip and the button didn’t dig into my abdomen. As I silently sit here and do my quiet hurrays. I can’t help but feel even more motivated. This means I need to be more diligent. Find beauty in these tiny victories. Where will I be a month from now? 3 months? 6 months? A year? Let’s hope I’ll be fitting into one of the piles of jeans I have for later.

Life, Shedding my Weight

Week 1 Weight Loss

Sirua

I thought this week would be harder. I’ll admit I’ve opened my eyes and see how people can be tempted back into old habits. How easy would it be to eat that cookie? To order pizza and not count how many slices I’ve already eaten? Or wake up and eat a snack at 3 am? Yeah it’s hard. But I set this goal for myself. For my health. To show myself that I CAN do this. Some days while I’m walking outside with my son in his stroller. Legs still a bit sore from walking for over a mile yesterday (Well everyday of this week so far). Been drinking the fat burning shakes once everyday for the past 5 days. It’s yummy besides the aftertaste which is tolerable. 1 pound down, so much more to go. My husband and sis in law have joined to help ourselves start a healthier lifestyle. Of course they’ve lost more than I have. Which is amazing just wish I would have the same results. I’ll have to try harder and be more careful with what I eat. Drink more water and keep up with the walks. The goal is at least 5lbs down by the end of the month.

body modification

Industrial Piercing 1 Week Update

Sirua

Alright so this is where it gets real. It’s been over a week actually I’m on Day 11 of having this piercing. I have to admit y’all it’s definitely has been annoying to say the least. My nose piercing I would occasionally forget and rub my nose by accident or if I needed to scratch my nose I would forget too. No big deal. But with this piercing just about everything irritates it. I have long hair and washing it has been a bit of a hassle. Requires lots of patience for sure. I sometimes forget the piercing is there and that the bar is a bit longer to give it space to swell. I miscalculate and accidentally bump it while washing my face, washing my hair, if someone brushes my side, trying to tie a ponytail, having my hair down irritates it. Cleaning it no matter how gentle I end up taking an Advil to help with the swelling. It itches which is a good sign. There’s yellow crust around it which is also a sign of healing. It doesn’t throb and the swelling isn’t excessive. Thankfully! No signs of infections and hopefully it stays that way. I have a couple of products that I’m using that has been a huge help. Cartilage piercing take MINIMUM about 3 months to heal to a year depending on your body, healing processing and aftercare. Purchasing these products can definitely help with the healing process and a good addition to your piercing aftercare routine.

H2Ocean 4oz Piercing Aftercare Spray

Urban ReLeaf Piercing Care

These are the two main products I’ve been using to care for my piercing. The H2Ocean is a sterile spray that has sea salt and mineral that help speed up the healing process. You can choose to make your own which I did at first. However, there’s a chance that it won’t be sterile or the amount of sea salt won’t be enough or too much. Plus this is more portable in case you have to be away for the day or a while.

The second product is the Urban ReLeaf Piercing care. This is contains sea salt and botanicals which makes it not only smell lovely but also helps prevent infections. It’s for soaking the piercing for a few minutes to flush out the piercing and soften the crust that forms. The tea tree oil is a natural disinfectant and aloe Vera is known for its moisturizing properties. Overall, the ingredients are beneficial to your healing piercing in both preventing infection or if you notice signs of an infection starting to form.

*As an Amazon associate I do earn commission on qualifying purchases on the above links*

I hope this helps anyone who has gotten a recent piercing or still trying to find ways in helping their piercing heal. I don’t regret getting my industrial just wish the healing and care wasn’t so tedious. Overall I have to say that I love how it looks and hopefully no infection starts. I’ll update next week with how things are progressing. Thanks for reading!