Tag: journey

Life, Shedding my Weight, weight loss

Implementing Walking as a Workout: Second Wellness Entry

Sirua

Now that I started this journey it seems as though I am motivated more than ever. I want to prove I can do this and can build good habits as time goes on. Now that my eating is more or less established I wanted to add exercise to my routine. My schedule is hectic if it can be called a a schedule at this point but I figured I could free up 30 minutes to an hour to go walking while my newborn naps.

MapMyWalk has been my best friend at this point. I messaged some friends in hopes to motivate each other into walking along with me. Seeing their efforts and messages have been a huge help in this process. Cause I have days where I am exhausted. But, I need to push through this and do whats best for myself. Setting these goals and meeting them is truly important for me since it has to do with my health and I see that as an investment towards a brighter future.

I feel it. The nagging soreness that doesn’t leave unless you rest for two days and the heaviness of lifting my legs in the middle of the night or morning. Do I have regrets? Perhaps. But who doesn’t? I ask myself will it hurt more later or how much further can I push myself? I can probably make 2 miles into 3 and so on. Goal right now? Eventually get to 4 miles by June without pain. I am confident thats a great goal for me to look forward to. Either that or be jogging by June. That one is a higher up goal that I’m hesitant about since I am not a fan of the warmer months or jogging. However, I believe in myself and in my circle to continue motivating me with this. So if you’re in the beginning of your wellness journey. Welcome! Join along this beautiful struggle with me. If you’re further and have experience in this. Welcome! Send advice and help please.

I’ll continue to update periodically. I miss streaming video games, playing video games, I also have plans to update little blogs here and there about some unboxing and purchases I made. Some reviews on shows or movies I watched. I’m mostly into Asian drama, animes and some crime/doctor shows (Not Grey’s Anatomy since I haven’t even started there). Stay tuned and stay sweet everyone!

Life, motherhood

Exclusively Pumping: Breastfeeding Journey Glimpse

Sirua

To be honest, things have been hectic. Between little sleep and slowly trying to get back on schedule and keeping a routine with a toddler while feeding a newborn on demand. It’s…well demanding. Along with a part time job at home, school online, my son’s therapy (that’s another blog for another day) I think some days I reach peak of mental exhaustion. I’v been lucky to have my husband for five weeks to help me through this time cause it is not easy getting back to whatever we consider reality at this point.

All things considered I am okay. This time around I know more than I did the first time around with my son. I was new to breastfeeding and pumping. I was new to the experience of motherhood and everything it physically entailed. This time around I am a little less nervous and knew what I wanted which was to pump as much as I could for this baby.

The first time around I remember doing so much research and stressing about my output. I was only making about 20 ounces per day after two to three weeks and it wasn’t enough. I was able to supplement at night with formula but my goal was to strictly breastfeed. Eventually, by an increase of water intake, adding more pumps in my day, lactation supplements and lactation treats was I able to start reaching 30-35 oz a day. I was able to purchase a stand up freezer and store a lot of breast milk for when anytime my supply started to drop towards the end of my journey or started using breast milk in the solids I would give my son. I was proud of the hard work I put into it and couldn’t be happier that I had reached my goal of a year breast feeding. I was relieved once it ended. My mind at peace.

Now here I am once again. I struggle with the thought of doing this all over again for another now…49 weeks or longer depending. This time around I have a oversupply when I prepped for under supply in the beginning. I am proud and yet stressed to say I am at 50-60 oz per day! This time around I did maintain a good water intake, coconut eater from a company I found, lactation brownies, prenatals and pumping at least 6 times a day (its advised to do more like 8-12 so please don’t try this if you’re experiencing an under supply). This all isn’t easy since breast feeding and exclusively pumping has its pros and cons. Every situation is unique and I have my own personal struggles to overcome when it comes to pumping from the wash and sterilizing of bottles and pump part to planning each pump to make sure the kids are comfortable and in a safe place while I sit for 20-30 minutes.

To put this into perspective that’s 20-30 minutes for every pump and at the recommended 8-12 times a day for the first 6 weeks to establish supply. Pumping can actually be a full time job cause this doesn’t include the constant washing of parts and bottles. While taking care of a new baby and everything else of course. This is a glimpse of the struggle but I am proud of myself and those who keep their littles fed. Fed is best and even those who give their little ones formula its still its own struggle to afford formula in the first place. Whether you’re new to this journey or returning. Welcome (Welcome back) you’re not alone!

Life

Feeling Distant

Sirua

For someone that tends to find the joy in small things I tend to fall off at times. Many know this feeling where one moment you’re doing something you thought you love but then life happens and there never seems to be enough time for it? There’s been many phases of this for me. One moment I am passionate about something then the next I lose that spark only to find myself circling back to it again. I am not sure why this happens. It feels like I am constantly losing myself and finding myself all over again. There’s very little things I find that I dedicate myself to. Do I lack the passion and drive? Is this my limit today? How can I go back and redo this all over again?

Quite frankly, it’s been overwhelming. I might share more of this one day when I am ready. Being personal can be tough when you struggle with how much sharing is too much. Or if very little sharing will bore everyone. I am coming back to blogging and I am circling around different ideas about the reality of motherhood, attending college online, working part time from home, discussing my goals and dreams. It would be nice to look back on this and see how much I grow with every passing moment. A personal journal of my path and changes along the way. Except I get to share it with all of you. Just a little confusing update for everyone. Stay safe and much love. Always feel free to comment below. I’ll add my social media links sooner or later to connect with everyone.

Life, motherhood

A Moment

Sirua

I needed a moment to myself. Balancing work, social, love and being a mother in life. It became a cycle that I eventually forgot to blog, write in my journal and dare I say? I stopped playing video games all together. I miss it some days. Other days I rather snuggle up to my son and husband to watch the Grinch (for the 3rd time that day)

Sometimes our conversation mingle between how we’ve been feeling with things in life lately. I’ll be honest it’s been overwhelming. I’ve always been such an over-thinker when it comes to anything. I can lay still at night while my mind rummages through the day about things.

Did I play with our son enough? Did he eat enough? Did I have enough patience today? Are the cats happy? The coffee I didn’t get to prepare for my husband…will he resent me? Did I finish that task at work or this task? That bag of laundry should be done by this week or should I go do groceries? Maybe if I had more energy or planned it out better.

There’s always doubt. There’s always something I could of done better. I recently been attempting to prepare for the future. Forgive the past and accept the present. It’s not easy. It’s a struggle every single day for someone who tends to plan and stress when plans aren’t executed on time. But I’m trying and I think that’s good enough for me.

Featured image is a succulent from my collection called Echeveria Sang A.

Life

Transitioning from a Stay at Home Mom to a Working Mom

Sirua

I was nervous for my first day. Wondering how I would be. I was a mother that had been through more than I should have in the almost 4 years I hadn’t worked. Every time I thought I could go back. I couldn’t.

How could I? After everything. I thought I was forever meant to be at home. That I wasn’t fit to work again after all as I walked in with what I was sure the anxiety written all over my face and smile.

Would they like me?

Can I do this?

Will I mess up and they’ll not want me there anymore?

I asked myself all this the whole time I was in training.

But I made it through. I took a deep breath and did my best to absorb everything I was being told. Asked questions when necessary. Time flew by and I eased into the routine. By the 4th day I felt comfortable enough to do the morning routine alone.

My son was with my mother who I trusted 100 percent. I’m so glad that we have her to help us with him considering how much my son loves her. Husband supported my decision to return to work and helps me in the morning preparing our son. I’m amazed at how much love and support I’ve had through this. I miss my son. I miss being home with him, the cats and succulents. But I know work would be good for me. I hope to truly to continue loving where I am and discover who I’m becoming as I start a new chapter in my life.

Life, Shedding my Weight, weight loss

Weight loss and Hormones

Sirua

Getting on that scale every Friday is intimidating. I look forward to it to see what’s working and what’s not. I don’t because I’m afraid to fail. As a woman of course every month I go through a week of having my menstrual (yes, my period) and the cravings used to be for Oreos. Not that I would deny having an Oreo milkshake even now. However, it’s usually much less likely for me to deny any while dealing cramps.

Luckily, I’ve been able to curb the cravings so far. I don’t deny myself the sweets. I only taste and move on for the most part. Besides, the protein shakes and afternoon walks really do curb the cravings as much as it can. I’m proud to say that although before my vacation I lost 3 pounds and gained 4. I was able to lost 7 lbs since coming back September 12. It’s been a month and 7 lbs is progress. Although I’m sure I can lose more. I’ll continue to do so. I’ll take as much as I can get at this point. Even if it’s 1lb a week. I’ll share more as I go. For now it’s only protein in the morning. Less carbs. More water. Combined with intermittent fasting. Hopefully I’ll continue losing every week!

Life, Shedding my Weight, weight loss

Weight Loss Update

Sirua

As most of you know from my previous blog. I started my weight loss journey to hopefully reach my goal slowly. Going on vacation I did my best to limit myself (not have seconds of any foods. Tasting dessert rather than finishing them. Limiting carbs as much as I could) overall I only gained 2 pounds which isn’t bad! Thought it would be more like 5 pounds. It’s been 2 weeks and I’m already down the 2 pounds that I gained. I need to buy more fat burner protein. Go back to limiting my carb intake more. Going out for more walks at least 4 times a week. Currently it’s about 3-4 but they’re usually short or too long that I lose the nerve to go the next day. I really hope in 6 months to reach my small goal of losing about 15 pounds. Wish me luck cause it’s more difficult than I planned it would be.

Life, Shedding my Weight, weight loss

The Little Things in Weight Loss

Sirua

It’s easy to want to see fast results when you’re on a journey to weight loss. That’s why small goals matter. Ones that are easy to reach. Celebrate them accordingly and it’ll help your mindset, motivation and confidence.

Last month I purchased distressed Bermuda shorts in the size I usually buy and felt as if they were tighter than usual. I felt defeated and upset since they were so cute. I put them with the pile of “Jeans that might fit later” which is right next to “Pants that will probably never fit me again”. Sad, but true. I decided to try them on today with not much hope since I didn’t feel all that different. It’s been almost 2 weeks since I became serious about my journey and BOOM! They fit like a glove. I even did the squat test and they didn’t feel like they were going to rip and the button didn’t dig into my abdomen. As I silently sit here and do my quiet hurrays. I can’t help but feel even more motivated. This means I need to be more diligent. Find beauty in these tiny victories. Where will I be a month from now? 3 months? 6 months? A year? Let’s hope I’ll be fitting into one of the piles of jeans I have for later.

Shedding my Weight, weight loss

Shedding the Weight

Sirua

It begins. My journey to weight loss through the years has been a battle. I always say I’ll lose and never do. My head was never in the right place. Depression. Comfort eating. Bad habits. All of it just came back every time I tried. I want to start today and see where it takes me. I’m not going to do a crash diet or anything of the sort. Simply going to be more aware of what goes into my body. Change little things here and there. Measure my portions. Morning walks with son for an hour and drinking some Lean Shake I bought in the mornings before hand and tracking my calories with the MyFitnessPal App. Later on in the journey I’ll hopefully reveal my true weight but I’m still uncomfortable in doing so. Every Sunday (or Saturday) I’ll keep everyone updated. Hopefully I can put this in a separate tab somewhere so it’s easy to follow.