Author: Sirua

Wife&Mother. Living in NYC. A journey to calm in all the chaos.
Hobbies, mental health

Journaling: Junk Journaling

Sirua

As mentioned in a previous blog entry. I’ve been journaling for years. They’re more like diaries. I finished one that I’ve had since September 2017 til February 2023. Almost six years worth of entries. A person of the past. The emotional shifts and growth as you watch yourself grow through the page you write.

I have different journals for different uses. Budget, To Do List/Work, Diary and Miscellaneous one with random thoughts or ideas for something. I get obsessive about journaling sometimes. Writing things down physically is different than typing it out. I tend to retain more that way.

This notebook I purchased from Notebook therapy. There’s so many options and limited time notebooks. Their washi tapes are so cute and they sell rubber stamps. This is one of many notebooks I own from them. Their main use is for bullet journal but I can use it as a diary as well.

Whale collection Washi

These whale collection washi tape are so adorable. Once I have junk paper and everything to craft I’ll show off what I do before beginning my entry. I’m so excited to bring out a part of creativity in myself to share with you all. It’s almost the end of February and I feel a sense of change coming. Life is already crazy with busy times and finishing up this term of school. I’m hopeful once I finish things will calm down. But something tells me that’s not the case. I will have little time between school finishing and the comings weeks to relax. Life is funny in that way.

Anyone been journaling or likes to journal? Scrap book? Comment below your experience!

Grief, Life, mental health

Monday Mental Health: Death and Always Being Alright

Sirua

How does death change your perspective?

This prompt opened up this conversation for me. Where it’s interesting how death changed my perspective through the years. Throughout life you experience death in different ways. Whether it be a pet, someone you didn’t know, the news, or close to home. It can change things.

Personally, I’ve accepted that death is a part of life that we cannot escape from. We grieve the ones we lose in this life and my perspective is that death is sometimes an inconsolable feeling. A plague that we secretly tend to fear. A sadness that touches our hearts.

After losing my first two babies. Death drilled a hole in me that I couldn’t fix. A trauma that would eventually ease but never truly leave. I mourn the what ifs and could have been with them.

Then I experienced the death of a close friend. I was devastated for the loss. For his loved ones and for those he brought joy to in his life. The art in his photography and his youth. Even if years pass. It’s like a pause button you can never press play on again. Our conversation frozen in time where there was no ending in sight. That part of death is dark and sorrowful.

That perspective has also made me appreciate things more and work hard to continue to live my life. To always be alright. Some days I’m more than okay. There will be days I’m less than. But I know I’m always alright.

Life

Weekend Prompt Days!

Sirua

What’s your favorite thing to cook?

Personally I love cooking meaty lasagna. It’s the easier thing for me to cook that lasts 2-3 days in my home. With our air fryer oven we can heat up left overs and it’ll be almost good as new! What do you all love to cook?

Life, mental health, motherhood

Middle of the Week Burnout: Motherhood

Sirua

When you become a parent. You have these worries that never leave you. From the moment you’re pregnant. All the what ifs, the dos and don’ts. Then, your little one comes into this world. They’re in your arms and the worry has now escalated. You’re responsible to raise a tiny person into a world full of obstacles. You want them to be better than you ever were. You start to thing it’ll be everything you ever imagine…til it’s not.

Everyone’s situation is unique from parenting differently to raising our little ones that have different personalities and struggles. You struggle inside with the exhaustion, the constant am I good enough, and the guilt of everything you probably did wrong that day. You’re touched out, overstimulated, doing the things you had promised you’d never do. Well, that’s just it. Parenthood, a whirl wind.

For me, weekends come along where I’m off from work and I’m busy figuring out how to entertain my older son with autism. He’s obsessed with his iPad and few toys keep him entertained. He likes all the messy things. Slime, paint, markers and playing with water. Winters in NY are long so we set up the little trampoline to tire him out. Our youngest attempts to do all the things brother does and though his curiosity is lovely it ends up with us wrestling him to stop climbing everywhere to touch everything. Nice things? Probably won’t last long with those little fingers. I can’t tell you all how many charging cables we’ve gone through in the past year alone.

Monday comes along and school comes along for my older son. I’m grateful since he loves it and goes without a hitch to some wonderful people. Five hours doesn’t seem enough. Between cleaning, studying, working, chasing a 2 year old or running errands. My whole day is a blur and school is over.

Wednesdays is when exhaustion sets in. The burnout and relief. Husband is off that night and the next day. Although my most productive days. They’re also when I’ve reached peak lack of patience. I spend most of it recovering from the weekend. The laundry piling. The toys that are always out the disheveled mind and house. I lose myself in it all.

Are there good days? Yes. That’s why I focus on having some self care. To remember that I matter. That I do love my boys and watching them grow up together and that they’re loved, cared for and counting on us to be there and watching their dad play and be silly with them are moments I recall the most. How lucky they are to have my parents and watch their faces light up when they see their grandkids. It’s wonderful.

But burnouts happen. You feel less than yourself and it’s okay. Cry. Scream into a pillow. Take a moment for yourself. This isn’t perfect journey. You’re learning just as much as they are. A little grace goes a long way. Haven’t you earned yourself that?

Parenthood is hard. Motherhood can be lonely and hopeless at times. Other times it’s about the love, giggles and smiles. Or holding their small hands in yours and wondering how long will this last. But, everyday you wake up and you do it all over again.

Hobbies, Life, Tarot/Card Readings

Tarot Tuesday: Keep Trusting the Process

Sirua

It’s strange how life will continue to give you signs to keep going and to trust yourself and the process. January has ended. February is here. Time keeps going on. I reshuffled my tarot deck after a while of feeling away from it all.

A familiar card appears and I can’t help but feel relieved. The seven of coins as I mentioned in a previous post. Speaks to a journey you’re on. You’ve put in the work and the rewards are coming. The journey is not done but it’s coming along. There’s always a moment where my trust wavers slightly. It’s tiring to keep going and feeling as if there’s no end. But, I won’t give up now. Hopefully my readers won’t either. Stay sweet everyone and enjoy your Tuesday.

Hobbies, Life, Q&A

Friday Prompt Day!

Sirua

What do you enjoy doing most in your leisure time?

I enjoy connecting with like-minded people.

Hobbies, Life

Goals for 2023: Implementing and Progress

Sirua

Lately I’m so caught up with writing and life. Honestly, I enjoy writing and always eager to find time to update and tweak the drafts currently being released.

I’m also excited to discover anchor.fm through WordPress. Podcasts for blogs? So cool! I released my first episode as a test run. I’m debating whether to take the time to read it myself and mess with a voice changer to enhance the reading experience. It’s going to take time and might have to adjust myself to do so if it’s better for my readers.

The tarot readings have slowed thus far but I’m confident there’s a lot I want to sense and know from the universe. Peering into myself and being motivated is part of my self care. My weight loss journey has stalled but I do plan to update you all on how I plan to reset and continue my progress.

I recently mentioned to someone how sometimes my emotions are like the ocean. Some days the waters is clear and serene. But there’s days it’s dark and ruthless. Others, a storm that I do my best to weather. However, I am always hopeful that I’ll be alright.

I’ve been taking some time to also read and inspire myself into writing more of the story. Studying as much as I can to finish school. Already halfway through the term. I’m excited to graduate and see what life’s opportunities has in store. To take a break from school so I can find my love for gaming and socializing more again. Maybe get ahead in writing Taken into the Stars. In few months time we will see. My goal is to eventually publish it.

As always. Stay sweet everyone. May life ease your path. Check out the latest update in my series Taken into the Stars Return or if you haven’t started it. Give it a read here: Taken into tha Stars Intro and let me know what you think. Enjoy!

Affiliate Links, Hobbies, Life, Product Review, Tarot/Card Readings

Tarot Tuesday: New Years

Sirua

Been a while since I’ve done a tarot Tuesday. How about starting the new year with a spread?

I found this New Years spread here at: https://vanessairena.com/a-simple-new-year-tarot-spread/

In order from 1 to 4:

  • Seven of Swords
  • Pillar (AKA Empress)
  • Seven of Wands
  • Strength

What Am I Releasing:

Seven of Swords speaks to deception, enemies, manipulation. Personally speaking, that’s what I’ve been trying to let go for a long time. Having people who are willing to lie, disturb your peace, and cause you harm should have little to no space in your life. Easier said than done.

What I Learned

The Pillar (Empress) comes about when you’re nurturing. Whether it be an actual person or a project. It brings nurturing, love and pleasure into one. It also talks about self love and care, a time of growth. All of which I spend the last year learning and devoting myself to. This year is no different. I will continue to strive for what works for me.

What am I Cultivating

Seven of Wands says I’m cultivating protectiveness and boundaries. I’m clearing negativity that’s either been or is present. A new year brings about reflection. It’s okay to want to protect the energy you’ve built.

What Are My Tools

The tool in my arsenal: Strength with the meaning of resilience and determination. Challenges may come but if facing it with compassion and using internal will. I’ll combat these challenges and learn from the experience.

I’m satisfied with this spread’s revelation since it felt familiar and spoke to my truths in the past year and what’s to come. I’m determined to continue maintaining our peace, happiness and success through this year. And hope 2023 brings the same to my readers. I find that writing out plans, goals and organizing my time definitely helps. Whether this be a physical book or simply adding to your Google calendar. Even as an entrepreneur or worker, it’s essential to remember important dates or meetings. The cute planner above I’ve been using as of recently. You can start at any time since it’s a fill in planner, with completely blank sheets for you to use. I love the adorable Sakura design! You can find this planner here: Cherry Blossom Planner

But if you like something more simple, unique or professional here’s some popular ones:

**Disclaimer** As an Amazon associate this blog earns commission for purchases made with links on this post. Thank you for reading!

Life

Time Management: Work in Progress

Sirua

My schedule has become more hectic as I enter the last phases of college, meeting demands at work and demands in life. Between a teething toddler, kindergarten applications for our special needs child, holidays and all. It seems as though there’s no time to stop and think. I’m in a constant go state of mind and quite frankly I can tell I might come crashing down in any second.

Thankfully a two-week break is coming. But before then, I want self-care. I need a nap and some me time. It’s what’s keeping me sane for the moment. When it comes to time management it’s difficult overall. Life has a set of categories when it comes to what will be done for the day. In my case, work/school/home/social/self care. Of course there’s sub categories but for now let’s keep it simple.

Everyday, I make the decision of how much time to put into each category. Do I divide them evenly? Do I have time for each one? What do I do if one suffers? Well, that usually ends in a “save for tomorrow” mindset. I’ve found that looking at my week and based on everyone else’s schedule and preference I can set a time to spend for each thing. Pre planning can help me mentally prepare for what’s to come. And have less stress on myself than usual. But we all know plans can shift quickly thus I adapt or tend to have a back up plan.

It’s not perfect and I’m still working on it. There’s still so much more things that I enjoy that I wish I had more time for. Gaming, writing, shows, reading and the gym. During my breaks I like doing a bit of everything more. But slowly I’ve been shying away from socializing the way I used to since my focuses have shifted. Priorities change and a category will suffer whether we like it or not. Just know it’s human and it’ll pass eventually.

Affiliate Links, Life, Tesla

One Year with Baymax (Tesla Model Y 2022) EV Ownership Overview

Sirua

Baymax is a year old!

I’m not a car person honestly. You can’t ask me much about a gas vehicle without me fumbling in my head to understand. However, I understand tech and for it to be on wheels only amplifies my interest in it.

So far things with ownership of an EV is a bit different than most. Going out of my way to charge and planning out errands when battery is a bit low. Below 20 percent sentry doesn’t work so I always try to keep it above 20 percent at all times. My charging situation hasn’t changed much. I still have mostly 60/40 on charging. 60 percent at home and 40 percent super charging. This changes when I go for long trips but I’m so grateful for Tesla’s charging network.

I do wish I could possible have level 2 charging at home. Level 1 charging is painfully slow and needs to be left over night and maybe even all weekend after a week of running errands and 2-3 times a week traveling to the office or picking up husband from work. Living in NYC everything is close by so charging happens maybe 1-2 times a week. We also try our best to charge from home cause it’s cheaper and with smart charge rewards we earn some of that back! Average we get about 10-15 dollars back on it so it pays for some of our super charging sessions. If you’re an EV owner living in NYC and you charge at home or even at work. Check out Smart Charge NY and earn points using my referral to sign up. It’s easy and tracks your charging usage to earn rewards. It pays you through PayPal and uses the email you sign up with to connect to your PayPal email and sent payment.

Now everyone hears about cost savings and fuel savings. It’s truly a mix when it comes to owning a Tesla since it’s price is hard to justify. Personally I see it as an investment. I do plan on keeping Baymax for a while which offsets the cost every year that I own it. On paper I’m still spending more than our CRV that I owned previous. But the cost savings for us adds up to almost 700 a year. Based on 11,710 miles that we’ve driven this year and the average payments from smart charge rewards.

Overall in the next 5 years the cost will be more. With car insurance which varies constantly. The difference would be 25-30k. So it’s more of a personal choice for us. I love that this is one of the safest and cleaner choices for our family. Autopilot has been a good partner for those long drives upstate. It’s fun to drive and the over the air updates are great. It all comes down to personal choice.

The white seats have held up great but it does get frustrating cleaning it since I dislike seeing dirty. With some warm water and mild soap it mostly comes off. Plus I use an interior cleaning spray. Overall it’s not too bad.

Hope you enjoyed this update! Feel free to follow Baymax on Instagram: @teslabaymax_nyc and Twitter: @teslabaymaxnyc